Finding Happiness Part 5. Rejecting Fear, Embracing Love
The first time we burn ourselves on a hot kettle, or on that middle oven shelf, we learn pretty quickly to be more careful next time.
As humans, we are genetically programmed to keep ourselves safe and to protect ourselves from harm, and on the whole, this is a very useful skill - especially where survival is concerned.
However, as we grow and develop and move through our lives, we will likely suffer many hurts and pains, both large and small, and the majority of them will leave very little visible trace. But the same internal process of retreat and protect will be taking place. Our brains will remember the hurt and the pain, and try to protect us from experiencing that same pain again.
Sounding like a good thing? Yes and no. Slipping off a curb and twisting your ankle - definitely good to remember to be more careful next time. Giving your trust to someone and have that person break your trust? More difficult.
The problem is that, with time, and the more hurts we suffer, the more protected and withdrawn we can become. We can become suspicious, overly cautious, cynical; guided by fear, not love.
Hurts can mount up. A devastating heartbreak, a bullying boss. Illness, loss. Life can really be a b*tch sometimes. But the more life throws at us, the more important it is to keep our faith in something better. To trust that friendships will be renewed, a new love can be found, strength will return. It may be a long, slow road. It may not be the road you would choose - and there may be times when you would gladly give up - but there is always hope, there is always renewal, there is always change.
So what do we do when we would like to choose a different path?
The first step is to acknowledge what is happening in our bodies.
When we take a moment to tune in and listen to our inner selves, we might be surprised by what we find. Anger, frustration, resistance, lethargy, self criticism or criticism of another - all these things can be a sign that we are actually afraid. Afraid of what could be or what has been before; afraid that we might suffer or feel pain. But if we can begin to recognise those feelings for what they really are (self protection), then that is when true, and sometimes dramatic, change can take place.
So begin to get to know yourself. Recognise your inner tricks and view them kindly - they are there to protect you. You can try placing a gentle hand on the place in your body that is feeling those fears - it might be your heart, but it could be that you have butterflies, or feel a tension in your belly. Recognise what is happening and thank your body. There could well be a very good reason for what you are feeling.
Thank your body - and choose to go a different way.
It is January now; in the dark of these long nights and short days, we can take our cue from nature - we can feel the planet resting, but see the new buds already on the trees.
We can choose to trust life, to trust in the goodness - and to risk that trust, when so many things could turn us away. We can feel hope for the new year; we can choose to open to love, and reject fear.
Happy New Year everyone, may it bring you all that you dream of.
You can learn more about getting in touch with your emotions here.
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